Buying Birthday Goodies

23 Dec

Hopefully you’re all biting your nails in suspense waiting for Pee Loser Part 2.  It needs a little more tweaking before posting though – so in the meantime – please enjoy the post below. “Buying birthday goodies.”  😀  

You’ll soon learn that I meet some strange individuals.

One morning I was tasked with purchasing birthday goodies for a coworker/friend; the usual flowers, card, cake, and balloons. Anyways, it was about 8:30am and I wasn’t expecting to have a full blown conversation with someone. Especially at the Publix near work that I never really go to except for that purpose – buying the birthday goodies.

I was just approaching the flowers and balloons section when a Publix employee approached me. He seemed nice enough asking me if I needed any assistance. How could he know that I’m not a morning person? He’s just doing his job. I thought to myself.

Turns out he wanted to do more than his job. Here’s how the conversation went down.

Publix guy:    Do you need help finding anything?

Me:              No thanks I’m good – just looking for flowers.

Publix guy:    Who are the flowers for?

Me:              Oh my friend – it’s her birthday.

Publix guy:    That’s nice.

Me:              Yeah – except I don’t really like any of these flowers.

Publix guy:    You don’t? What – she doesn’t like roses?

Me:              Sure but roses die so fast.

Publix guy:    Oh that’s right – they do.

Me:              Yes. I guess I’ll get these flowers – even though I didn’t want to spend $20.

Publix guy:    Oh well. It is what it is right?

Me:              Yep. Thanks for your help.

Publix guy:    So when’s your birthday?

Me:              Oh mine’s already passed.

Publix guy:    I wish I would’ve known. I would’ve gotten you a gift.

**break for laugh**

Me:              Really. You would’ve gotten me a gift?

Publix guy:    Yeah I would.

Me:              Right. Thanks but its all good.

Publix guy:    So how about we be friends?

Me:              Friends?

Publix guy:    Yeah why not?

Me:              Umm. I have a boyfriend.

Publix guy:    So? What’s that got to do with it?

Me:              Well….it has something to do with it. Anyway that’s ok. Thanks though.

Publix guy:    Why not?

Me:              Because.

Publix guy:    Because?

Me:              You’re telling me you just wanna be friends?

Publix guy:    Yeah.

Me:              You know, I kind of find that hard to believe.

Publix guy:    Why?

Me:              Because the last few guys that “wanted to be my friends” didn’t actually want to be “friends.”

Publix guy:    So you think all guys are like that? Why do you think that about all guys?

Me:              Probably because most guys are like that.

Publix guy:    That’s not true. You shouldn’t think like that.

(Really? I was getting boy advice from the Publix dude? How random. Why didn’t I just walk away?)

Me:              True but that’s how I think. I’m pretty set in my ways and I won’t be changing my mind anytime soon so…sorry.

Then he proceeded to keep asking me “why” about 10 times over until I had to say that I had nothing else to say about the matter. *sigh*

This is one time when shopping at Publix was definitely not a “pleasure.”


2 Responses to “Buying Birthday Goodies”

  1. The Hook January 10, 2012 at 11:21 am #

    You were a captive audience for this loser, weren’t you? poor girl…

    • ConnieMaria January 10, 2012 at 7:42 pm #

      Yes lol I really do try to be nice… 😛

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