Blue Martini Nites – The Nail Biter

4 Jan

My first Blue Martini nite story. It’s a odd one…beware.

Another boring workday had passed. Heather and I sought comfort that only fruity martinis could provide.

If I remember right it was ladies night and getting a bartender’s attention was next to impossible on ladies night.

Why you might ask?

Because most of the bartenders are women. And the bartender chicks with their boobs squeezed to oblivion in the trampy corsets don’t exactly gravitate to female customers. No no no – their boobs make a bee line to the men holding the cash or plastic. They are well-trained.

We finally ordered drinks but never received them.

<Enter Nail Biter> (I think his name started with an ‘M’ but who cares)

We were so thirsty. Cotton mouth and irritation set in. The Nazi bartender refused to acknowledge us. 

I was beyond frustrated and considered asking Heather if we should hit another bar when I heard a cocky voice:

“You’re not a people person are you.”

It wasn’t a question – it was a statement. As if he’d been observing me up to the present moment. He was a goofy little due. Probably about 5’7.”

Immediately I replied “You’re right. So why are you talking to me?”

“Hahahaha,” he laughed.


“No, really. If you can already tell that I’m not a people person, why approach me?”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

And the light bulb shines. “Okay. Sure.”

He bought Heather and I a drink and we received it in record time.

“I’m M—.” He says.

“I’m Connie…this is my friend Heather. Thank you for the drinks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So what do you do?”

“I sell rare books.”

“You sell weird books?” Heather says. (It was pretty loud in there.)

“Rare. Rare books.” He hands us a business card.

“Interesting. Is that a pretty profitable business?” I had to ask. I mean have you ever met someone (in person) that sells rare or “exotic” books?

“Uh. Well. It’s not a busy business.”


So while we talked he kept tapping me with his hand. You know how some people talk with their hands and they’ll tap your arm or touch you while they say nothing important?

Well, when he did it he would tap me on the stomach. And I’m not really the type of person that likes to be touched. 

Naturally I had to address that. “Why do you keep hitting me in the stomach?”

He had nothing to say. He just laughed. And I worked on my martini refill.

I noticed he kept looking at my hands. He glanced at my face. Then my hands. Then my face. Then my hands.

He says, “What’s up with your nails?”

“Oh I bite them.”


“I dunno. I usually bite them when I’m anxious or nervous. Moreso at work.”


Then the unthinkable happened.

The music was playing. He gazed into my eyes. He lift my hand and … oh so disgustingly … bit on one of my nails.

At first I wasnt sure what was happening. The weirdness of it all had me momentarily frozen.

Finally I blurted out “what the hell are you doing?!” and whipped my hand back.

“You bite your nails.”

“Uh yeah? And?”

“Well if you can bite them why can’t I?”

“Oh I don’t know. Hmm. Because they are my nails maybe?”

Oh yes. It happened.

Who does that to someone they just met?

And who meets people like this?    Me…

*P.S. Please leave comments. 🙂 I fixed the settings so your Name and/or Email are no longer required when commenting now. =) Thanks for reading! ❤


7 Responses to “Blue Martini Nites – The Nail Biter”

  1. Anonymous January 4, 2012 at 9:41 am #


    • ConnieMaria January 4, 2012 at 7:14 pm #

      Yes – yuck! Can you imagine what other weird things that guy probably does! lol

  2. Anonymous January 4, 2012 at 6:22 pm #

    What an interesting night – that guy was a wierdo…and he wonders why he is single! Never a dull moment when we go out 🙂

    • ConnieMaria January 4, 2012 at 7:13 pm #

      Amen to that lol

      • Anonymous January 4, 2012 at 8:07 pm #

        definitely not a guy you bring home to “meet the parents” lol

  3. The Hook January 10, 2012 at 11:09 am #

    The world is filled with incredibly interesting, awesome people, right?
    Then there are people like this…

    • ConnieMaria January 10, 2012 at 7:31 pm #

      Yes – and the people like this are frightening 😛

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