You haa boyfrien yet?

4 Jan

Lemme start by saying that people are never satisfied. 😀

You date someone they don’t approve of?  They say break up with them.

You’re single? Find a boyfriend!

You have a boyfriend? Get engaged already.

You’re engaged? Get married!

You’re married? How about some pitter-pattering of little feet? Lots of little cute feet.

What do people ask for after that? I have no idea – I’ve never gotten past the ‘engaged’ step…but I don’t want to know either. It’s brutally annoying to be hounded.

My two favorites:

I go every two weeks for a dose of torture – eyebrow waxing. There’s nothing like hot wax and the ripping of hair right out of your skin.

I’ve been going to the same woman at a hair salon for about 5 years now. She’s a very kind Asian woman. I love her, really. And she makes my eyebrows look magnificent (hence my loyalty).

However, she hasn’t yet grasped the fact that I’m unable to find a boyfriend. For these lovely 5 years its always the same greeting.

Her: “Hi Connie! Oh you look so goooood. You lose weight?”

Me: “Thanks! Nope – haven’t lost weight.”

Her: “Sooo, you haa boyfrien yet?”

Me: *inward sigh* “No boyfriend yet. Sorry.”

Her: “Ah Connieeee. Your hair haa split ends.  Oh honey – you no fine boyfrien with split ennnnds.”

Oh – I’m so glad – now I know why I’ve been single all this time. Because of my split ends!!

On to the next shall we?

I used to go to this one nail place nearby where they would ask the same thing: You haa boyfrien yet?  The gentleman that did my nails was so sweet. But I couldn’t handle listening to two people, at different places, every two weeks asking me the same exact question.

This guy, though, he was good. He switched it up a little bit. It was kinda funny….kinda.

Him “You haa boyfrien yet?”

Me: “You know you ask me that every time right? No, no boyfriend yet.”

Him: “Ah whyy? You such a prity girl.”

Me: “Aww, thanks.”

Him: “How come you never haa boyfrien?”

Me: “Oh I don’t know.”

Him: “You like girl?”

Me: “What? No. No I don’t like girls. I like boys. I just don’t have a boyfriend.”

Right!

So, in conclusion, I’m thought of  as a single lesbian with split ends in my hair. You sure do learn a lot from the people you come across huh? 😛

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20 Responses to “You haa boyfrien yet?”

  1. Anonymous January 4, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

    you are into women too… thats hot!

    • ConnieMaria January 4, 2012 at 3:56 pm #

      lol I am not into women – sorry “anonymous” 😉

  2. susielindau January 4, 2012 at 3:40 pm #

    Too funny! I just read it to my family and they enjoyed it too!
    I am subscribing! Thanks for following me!

    • ConnieMaria January 4, 2012 at 3:58 pm #

      Hey Susie! Thanks for reading. 🙂 I’m so glad you & the fam enjoyed it. lol Oh & I just shot you a note on Twitter 😛 Ty for following ❤

  3. Anonymous January 4, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    Hey Cousin – how about you say I am a NON CONFORMIST – booyah!

    • ConnieMaria January 4, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

      Hi Cuz! ❤ I like that!!!! lol I'm definitely going to use that as a reply the next time someone asks 😀

  4. Anonymous January 4, 2012 at 8:14 pm #

    Awesomely funny but sooooo true! Well put into words! Soooo glad you are not into girls! lol

  5. DeadTiredDavid January 4, 2012 at 10:07 pm #

    Connie, girl, your time will come. Some fortunate man will discover your beauty, wit and charm. Just don’t fall for the guy simply because he likes you. For a good relationship, he must possess your thoughtfulness, consider you before himself and enjoy listening to you beyond the first few dates. But, your fortunes will change. As the indelicate saying goes, there is a pot for every butt.

    Believe me, a good man will find you. I promise.

    • ConnieMaria January 5, 2012 at 9:07 am #

      You’re very sweet, David. 🙂 Thank you for checking out my blog. See you ’round the Twitterverse! 🙂

      • DeadTiredDavid January 5, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

        And, I promise I won’t ask about your fertility either 🙂

      • ConnieMaria January 5, 2012 at 1:50 pm #

        ahahaha! funny! 😉

  6. C January 4, 2012 at 11:59 pm #

    This story cracks me up!! And so true!! I’m married and they always used to ask me ‘you bin marry lon tine…why no baby?’ Cause its not our thing…. U no have baby? Yes, well at least I think so we just don’t want one…. Seriously?! That’s too much to think about just to get a manicure! I stopped going altogether!! My nails look like crap but at least no one asks me about my fertility!!!

    • ConnieMaria January 5, 2012 at 9:10 am #

      LOL Thanks for the comment, C. Who woulda thought you’d have to contemplate the possibilities of child birth while getting a mani. That’s heavy. 😛 (And btw your nails look very nice :D)

  7. The Hook January 10, 2012 at 11:05 am #

    I wouldn’t worry too much… lesbians are very ‘in” these days! And guys find them irresisitible, for some reason!

    • ConnieMaria January 10, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

      LOL!!! Thats what I hear but call me old-fashioned – I like z men 😛

      • @DeadTiredDavid January 10, 2012 at 7:52 pm #

        I hate to disappoint hopeful gays and lesbians, but the world’s homosexual population — whatever percentage that is — has not changed since humans first put their bony feet on African clay. It is a static number, apparently genetically-based, and no amount of public relations, political correctness or propaganda are going to change the numbers.

        Seems logical to me. Connie, I bet you a cup of dead coffee grounds that you will not wake up tomorrow and say, “Gee, I’d sure love to stick my tongue down Ga Ga’s throat today.” I might wake up with that thought, but I bet you won’t. Keep those fingers flying, Ms Connie.

      • ConnieMaria January 11, 2012 at 10:48 am #

        LOL you have me cracking up here!!!!!! Na, I dont think I’ll wake up with that urge but ya never know 😛 (Besides that – Gaga has great music but she scares me :/)

  8. Charles O'Keefe January 15, 2012 at 8:29 pm #

    Hi all 🙂 I actually thought of a solution to at least a part of your dilemma. If you’re with a guy who’s been snipped (i.e. had a vasectomy) then no one can bug you about kids 🙂 I know this is true as I had a vasectomy and no one bothers us about kids (unless they are total jerks). Just my thoughts, funny post that I enjoyed reading, keep it up! =)

    • ConnieMaria January 17, 2012 at 9:29 pm #

      Hello Charles! lol I’ll remember that. But you know how people are – they’ll think of something to nag about 😉 Thank you for stopping by my blog (and for the compliment!) 🙂 🙂

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