Lunch Date -or- Interview

14 Jan

Zoosk. Their commercials were so funny when they first joined the E-dating circuit.

And so I signed up. By then I had already tried E-Harmony, Match, & Plenty of Fish.

What do ya know? Using Zoosk I came across this guy who looked very handsome in his photos. He had an interesting profile and appeared to be smart and ambitious (ding ding ding!).

We had great conversation online via Zoosk and even had a “chat date” a couple evenings (I’m not one for talking on the phone a lot). It was almost too good to be true.

I’d have to meet this guy…not that I was trying to find something wrong with him. Just trying to save myself from the disappointment that is sure to follow when I get my hopes up.

First date discussion. He was going to be in Boca for work and asked to take me to lunch.

We settled with Panera bread and I told him I only had an hour – that way if I hated him I’d be able to escape.

I was nervous. More nervous than usual, really.

Walking into Panera bread I scanned the lunch crowd and eventually spotted him.

He was very … hairy.

See – the feminine dude didn’t have enough hair. This guy – too much. Isn’t there a happy medium? A Goldilocks version of ‘just right’?

We had already discovered through chat that we had something significant in common – we both work in the IT industry. Great! That would be an easy conversation starter.

Little did I know that it would serve as an extraction tool for him to gain insight into the company I work for.

The interrogation started with questions like “Do you sell Apple?” “Are you authorized to sell it?” “What certifications did you have to complete?”

I waited for someone to drag a bright light into my face and ask me where I was when we sold our first Applecare warranty.

What I wanted to say to him is “Are you f-in kidding me?” but I knew, as I did with Pee Loser when he tried to put his dirty infected foot on me, that I wouldn’t be seeing this gentleman again.

Even the old lady next to us gave me a look of pity.

Another failed date.

After lunch that day I didn’t hear from him for days. I was fine with that – his disappearance saved me the trouble of rejecting him. Eventually he IMed me via Skype. 

Not…a…chance.

I blocked him on Skype, deleted my Zoosk profile out of pure frustration, and that was that. Grrr.

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2 Responses to “Lunch Date -or- Interview”

  1. The Hook January 18, 2012 at 5:18 pm #

    “He was very … hairy.”
    Hilarious! At least these losers make great blog fodder!

    • ConnieMaria January 18, 2012 at 10:47 pm #

      Ha! Right you are! It’s kind of fun retelling the stories 😀

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