The First Love

20 Jan

Most of us remember our first love.

According to fairytales and stories told love is supposed to be magical. And discovering it for the first time ever is even sweeter. Well sweeter and scary. But a good scary. Falling in love for the first time should certainly fall into the “special” category.

My first love? Oh he was special alright.

I embarked on my first official relationship at seventeen (when my dad finally allowed me to date lol).

Ah seventeen. When love conquers all – in your heart at least. Your mind has yet to catch up to reality. Or should I say, you’re not completely jaded and bitterness has yet to plan its seeds.

His name was Dick. And boy did he live up to his name (and not in a good way). I was in love and completely infatuated with him and his bad-boy aura. Of course looking back I realize it wasn’t a bad-boy aura – it was more of a loser aura. I should’ve listened to my best friend – she had warned me.

Anyways he broke my heart in just one year and seven months (and … admittedly I remember, even now, 11 days).

We met at a JROTC field meet competition – both seniors at the time. He went to a school in Orlando, I attended school in Boca. Originally I had planned to attend the Air Force Academy post-graduation. In a way I kick myself for not following through but at the time I was convinced I should just attend college locally in hopes of staying close to Dick. My fault – lesson learned.

Most of our relationship was long distance since he ran off to a military college as soon as he graduated. Of course it wasn’t a good idea to be in a long distance relationship, me being a first timer in the love market. No matter – I was faithful to him and stuck by him despite the distance and my suspicions that he was cheating (which he was, by the way). 

I’ll never forget his sweet and tender words after the first time we “did it.” Not only was it horrible but … those unforgettable words were icing on the cake.

“Well…now you can’t wear white on your wedding day. Your thighs will start getting bigger too because your body will start changing to accommodate babies.”

Shock was my first feeling. Then pain. Then confusion. Nowadays I would’ve kicked him where it hurts or maybe threw something at him. Even a slap in the face would have been appropriate. But no. At seventeen I was a different person: naïve and unaware that I was just used.

Funny – when you’re a teen you think you know everything. Not even close.

The break up was even more hurtful. He invited me up to Orlando for my birthday where I proceeded to pay for tickets to a Disney theme park, lunch, and whatever else we wanted at the park. Then he broke up with me. That same day. I was devastated and humiliated.

*sigh* If only I knew then what I know now. My brothers offered to beat him up for me. I should’ve let them but I’m too nice. 😛

But, you know, as disrespectful and failing as he was, I still wanted him. I was so sure he would change his mind and realize that he made a mistake. That day never came.

The bright side is that with every relationship you encounter you learn a little something about yourself and what you want.

Oh! But here’s the best part. Years back he found me on MySpace (when MySpace was really booming). And guess what. He looks old.

Ha! Take that! A small form of retribution but I’ll take it! 😀

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4 Responses to “The First Love”

  1. peterhobbs1 January 21, 2012 at 6:25 am #

    Yes, our first love, we will never forget them no matter how bad, sad, tragic or just plain mean the relationships were. I think I speak for most men when I say we are basically jerks, especially in our teenage to early 20’s years. Some of us grow out of that (points at himself) and others don’t.

    I am enjoying your posts, very revealling and honest.

    • ConnieMaria January 22, 2012 at 8:07 am #

      Hi Peter 🙂 Thanks for the comment. Ah boys 😛 Hopefully more grow out of the “jerk” stage than not. I’m so glad you are enjoying my posts 😀 Thanks for stopping by!

  2. The Hook January 24, 2012 at 9:05 pm #

    You never forget your first, right?

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