Blue Martini Nites – Surgeon General Poser

29 Jan

So. I think I embarrassed this guy. So much that it scared him away.

How terrible of me (<–sarcasm).

I’m sorry but I’m not a fan of cheesy pick-up lines. I don’t find them funny or entertaining …… well, after the fact they are. 😛

It was another Blue Martini nite. Heather & I sat at the bar enjoying our fruity martinis, talking and smoking.

Now I know that smoking cigarettes is bad. Dangerous to my health, etc etc. But I do it anyways. I know, I know. Please spare me the lectures, blog friends. 😉

Whilst enjoying my tart apple martini this gent comes waltzing up and says “You know cigarettes are bad for you, right?”

Let’s hit the ‘pause’ button for a moment, shall we?

Seriously?!

I think in this case it was a combination of what he said along with the manner in which he said it. It was as if he had attempted to conjure up his smoothest, sexiest voice to say the horrible line. His stride and stance suggested the overcompensation of confidence (a.k.a. he wasn’t acting like himself). He even leaned onto my chair and slapped on a “I’m sexy and you know it” kind of grin.

So I punished him and his lack of creativity in a first line. That’s the best he could come up with?

<‘rewind’…….’play’>

Guy: “You know cigarettes are bad for you, right?”

Me: “No way!”

Guy: “Yeah, they are.” (He was so proud of himself.)

Me: I looked at Heather. “Oh my gosh Heather! These are bad for me?!” I took another drag. “This is crazy! I had no idea!”

Meanwhile a few surrounding people stared at me as if I were a certifiable moron.

Guy: “Uh, yeah.” At this point he started to catch on.

Me: “Oh wait!” I grabbed my pack of cigs. “Is that what this warning is on the side of the box? Wow. Thank you so much for letting me know. If it wasn’t for you…really. Whew!”

He slinked away, embarrassed & unsuccessful.

Call me a b**ch if you want but corny lines and fake dudes don’t do it for me. Although they do make for good blog posts. 😀

Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

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8 Responses to “Blue Martini Nites – Surgeon General Poser”

  1. Pete Denton January 30, 2012 at 12:01 pm #

    Sarcasm is great. I don’t know what I would do without it! And it does make for some great blog posts. 🙂

  2. The Hook January 30, 2012 at 8:54 pm #

    Some guys just scare easily…
    Plus, they can’t handle ballsy women!

    • ConnieMaria January 30, 2012 at 10:27 pm #

      I give him credit for just approaching. I’ve been told I’m intimidating. I suppose my ‘ballsy’ attitude doesnt help 😉 I’ll have to work on that 😀 But just a little…

  3. susielindau January 30, 2012 at 9:32 pm #

    Where do you live? It is getting so that most states are smoke free!
    You will meet the right guy, but probably not in a bar… more likely when you aren’t expecting it, dressed up or have all your makeup on. That is how life rolls!

    • ConnieMaria January 30, 2012 at 10:29 pm #

      South Florida – where sunshine reigns & the hurricanes are no more 😛 Thanks Susie – one of these days I’ll meet someone (normal preferrably) but then when I do – what in the world will I blog about?! lol

  4. Shannon Howell February 7, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

    That was funny. I’m glad you posted it.

    • ConnieMaria February 14, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

      Thanks Shannon! I appreciate the comment! 🙂

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