Do you … you know … smoke?

30 Jan

I went to an acquaintance’s get together. This party host has a son.

You know what that means.

It means I could no longer enjoy the party because I’d be used as a pawn in the cruel game of match-making.

The gracious host tip toed over to me and whispered “Hey! Are you still single?”

“Yes.” I answered lowly and reluctantly while stuffing more mini quiche in my mouth. Spinach & cheese to be exact. I love those things.

“Great! I invited my son and told him there was a cute girl here.”

“Oh great.” I said, mustering up my best fake enthusiasm. I, of course, felt like saying, “Sooo what?!” But I couldn’t be rude to this person (trust me).

What is it with people? Since I’m the one single young woman at this party and the son is the one single young man … what … we’re supposed to fall madly in love – sparks are going to fly – just because we’re around the same age, of opposite sex, and we’re equally unattached?

I’m sorry. It just doesn’t work that way. 😛   Although that would be so much easier.

This party host gets kudos for good intentions though.

Finally the son arrives. I have to admit he was cute and not at all what I expected. However, I couldn’t see myself with him. He almost had a Jersey Shore look about him. Not that that’s a bad thing … (to each their own).

He makes his way over to me and I half expected a “Sup girl?” but his first question was very normal. He introduced himself and asked what I do for work. Good start, gooood start.

I was already beginning to think, Hey maybe this could work.

His second question kind of threw me though.

The good son asks, “Do you smoke?” in a secretive hushed tone.

There’s oblivious me: “Cigarettes? Yeah.” I thought maybe he saw my pack of  cigs in my Louis bag. No no – he was not that perceptive.

“No, not cigarettes.”

Ah ha!!

“Ohh. Yeah, no – I don’t do that. Sorry.”

I mean really, you’re in your mom’s house, your mother is standing 3 feet away and you’re asking me if I smoke weed? 😐

Awkward pause.

“Well,” I had to break the silence. I could feel the mama eyeing us. “I was fine without a smoke but now that you mentioned smoking, I want a cigarette. Do you want to join me?” I headed outside.

He followed – “Sure. I usually only smoke when I’m drinking.”

“Usually only?”  I think to myself. Is that even proper English?

Then he asks me what I’m drinking. I knew this would be considered lame but I answered honestly anyways with: “Coke.”

“Just coke?”

“Yep. Just coke. I’m not a big drinker.”

“Oh.” That disappointed look. So it’s frowned upon if I smoke cigarettes but it’s acceptable if I consume large vats of alcohol.

Ya just cant please everyone. 😛

While we were outside polluting our lungs he proceeded to tell me about his friend that is married to a jealous and extremely insecure woman. What a story that was. Did I really need to know about that?

About 10 minutes after that smoke break I snuck out of the party.

I believe he noticed. Here I was thinking I was smooth – Mission Impossible smooth – but he walked outside just as I was backing out of the parking spot.


I’m pretty sure that Mom & Son were not happy with me.


4 Responses to “Do you … you know … smoke?”

  1. The Hook February 3, 2012 at 11:46 am #

    He sounds delightful!

    • ConnieMaria February 4, 2012 at 12:41 am #

      Oh yes. 🙂 Gotta give him credit for being honest from the beginning right? 😛

  2. Jennifer M Eaton February 10, 2012 at 11:39 pm #

    Ha! Very funny. Makes me remember my younger days. Boy, am I glad I have a warm handsome hubby so I don’t have to worry abot this anymore!

    • ConnieMaria February 14, 2012 at 9:13 pm #

      Hi Jennifer 🙂 lol yes – you are very lucky!! It’s frightening out in the dating world. 😛

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