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Lay down the pills, boys

1 Jul

The good news is that I’m trying to quit smoking. I’m not having a difficult time with it. If I feel the absolute dire need to have a smoke I do but I’m certainly not smoking 1/3 a pack a day.

Anyway – the bad news is that when I get messages like this on POF I start shaking from the anxiety and crave a nicotine fix to calm my nerves.

All I can picture is Tigger on highly concentrated pills with an adverse effect.

Hello Miss Writer!! how are you, Seriously I read
your profile 3 or 4 times today and honestly I was
Shocked.. You are extremely Beautiful and Extremely GORGEOUS,
Honest,Mature, Smart, Everything.. I love your attitude, your
Personality your (Lips upss Sorry), your eyes and your
SMILE… I Love it … I’m Scorpio team
“Fire””Passion””True Love””true
Friendship””Honest””Responsible and hard workers”HUGE HEART”
0) I love music and Dancing.. I love aerosmith’s Too
1) I love Cook.. I’m Seafood and Italian chef
2) I love the Ocean
3) I love working out – also I running like 8 miles every 4
days, also I’m in training to half Marathon this year..
4) Venezuelan Born= Im working :FL&MIA
Communication/Broadcast Major
Sports Reporter and WRITER-Blogs for :
@Marlins,@MiamiHeat,@FlPanthers,@MiamiDolphins,I Love my life
&Son .. Yes I have a Son .. 7years old, he is everything to
me ..
5) I’m Not Smoking and No Drinks .. But about your (WEE) we
can talk and fix it about that 😉
Ok .. I also look for a real woman like you, Friendship first
and relationship later. I hope have and fill in
what you are looking for.. I’m very Ambitious and I wanna
share my goals,life with somebody with the same directions.
I’m looking for stable and
long relationship, I hope you like Something about me ..
Serious I’m in shock with your
Profile..If you need to know more about me just inbox, me
message me, Reply me, find me, email me, tweet me, haha
Somenthing I’m here waiting for you.. Serious NO GAMES,NO
DRAMA
p.s you are the most beautiful woman I saw In my whole life
… Please Reply me I wanna hear from you veryyy soon !!! Bye
bye Gorgeous .;(

I almost wanted to run to my bed and hide under the covers…but instead … where’s that lighter … I’ll stick with going outside.

In closing – an online dating tip. (haha!! :D)

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Dunkin Donuts and Pick-up Lines

26 Jun

Today, C (my office bff) & I went to Dunkin Donuts during our lunch break.

We sat inside since Tropical Storm Debby was delivering some pretty wicked gusts of wind.

Image

I was fortunate enough to have the view facing outside where this handsome man sat enjoying his Jersey Mike’s sub.

Boy was he cute.

He ate his sammich. I continued to stare. And then he was gone.

I should have said something right? That’s what C said.

Perhaps I should have. But why – he caught me staring at him twice! 😛 You’re telling me he didn’t get the hint that I was interested?

*Sigh* Okay so for next time – when/if I buld up the courage to approach a stranger who happens to be a gorgeous male (you know how anti-social I am)…I’ll need a mind-blowing opening line besides “Hey you’re hot and I’m single – wanna go on a date?”

Any recommendations? Please – enlighten me. 😀

I wonder – what do guys deem as effective pick-up lines?

This thought leads me to Google and I find an interesting article on AskMen.com:

http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_150/189_dating_list_10.html

Borrowed from the article itself, here are the top 10 pick-up lines: 

  • No.10 “Excuse me, is this seat taken?”
  • No.9 “Would you like to dance?”
  • No.8 “Can I interest you in a glass of… ?”
  • No.7 “Do you come here often? I could use your opinion about something…. “
  • No.6 Excuse me; can you help me with…?
  • No.5 “Don’t you find this place…?”
  • No.4 “You look like you might be interested in some great conversation.”
  • No.3 “Would you like an escort to your… ?”
  • No.2 “Wow! I really like that (insert item of clothing or fragrance) you’re wearing.”
  • No.1 “I just thought you should know that you have a really nice….”

Ah good stuff. I must start practicing.

In fact I am positive I’ll have the opportunity to use some of these tomorrow night at the country bar I’m going to with C.

Prep time!

Ahem Ahem Ahem

Highway Stalking

25 Jun

Highway stalking.

Just don’t do it, guys. It’s not exactly the most effective manner to pick up a date.

In fact – it’s not effective at all.

Over the weekend I drove up to my parents place for a visit. We’re about 2 hours apart. I decided to be kind (–yes it can happen–) and give my brother and sis-in-law a break from their hyperactive son, my darling nephew. He’s 2 and on a mission to be both adorable and annoying – he’s teetering somewhere between those two characteristics.

You should probably know that I have about zero patience with children. I love my nephew and niece more than anything but I, personally, am not mommy material. Unless Bradley Cooper comes knocking on my door asking me to be his baby mama… Now that I would consider.

**Sigh** 😉

Back to the topic … I’m driving home yesterday on the ever-boring turnpike in the incessant rain. Overall its gloomy and plain ol’ blah.

My nephew is sitting quietly in his car seat with his new Bumblebee Transformers toy in his ‘woo-woo’ pajamas (firetruck covered pj’s) .

I’m listening to an album from 1995 reminiscing when I get the feeling someone is staring at me. I notice a car full of dudes to my left. They’re speeding up and then slowing down so they could stay next to me.

Dark, rainy night … girl alone with child. Oh hell no.

I almost vocally let these boys know exactly how I felt about their intrusion but my language would have undoubtedly permeated the 2 yr old’s cute little ears.

 

So I gave them “the look” – you know the one that says don’t f**k with me.

Kind of like this:

Minus the vampire teeth. (That picture made me laugh out loud. :D)

Eventually they saw little man in the back seat and realized they’re 100% moronic and sped off.

Finally. And thank goodness.

Yet again I ask ~~~~ What is wrong with people?

Highway stalking = no bueno. It’s  creepy!

He just had to…

17 Jun

After neglecting my Plenty of Fish account for approximately one month (maybe longer) I figured it was time to catch up on my messages and see what was new and stimulating in the e-dating world.

Most of the emails were dull but this one wasnt too shabby – up until the end at least.

I highlighted the line I had a slight issue with in blue…and I bolded the words…and then I underlined them too. Something tells me you wont miss it. 😀 

Hi, how are you? I’m Rey. Straight up, I’m not sure what I’m looking for but I want to meet new people, eswpecially those that show they have brains, priorities and their life together. I’m tired of dating girls and I’m in need of a woman in my life.

He needs a woman – I am a woman – How convenient!

About me, I’m 6’1 from Puerto Rico. I speak perfect Spanish and English. I have 2 siblings, (older) I am the youngest. I’m 30 years old. My family is the biggest and most imoportant thing in my life. I strive for perfection and happiness in life and I dont settle for anything less.

I completely agree – family is important. He seems ambitious. That’s an admirable trait.

Like I said Im not sure what I’m looking forr but I know I want to meet new people and broaden my horizons a bit. I know how much fun I can be and how much more fun it can all be if I had the right person next to me. Weather it is my girlfriend or not a guy friend or a total stranger. I share everything with everyone, even if they dont deserve it. YOu cant take everything with you so why hold on to it. My philosophy is be yourself have fun and enjoy life.

Sharing is caring. Good philosophy.

I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you. It would be nice being that i put some effort in. lol Take care and have a good night.

Now, it might just be the snob in me but what the heck? He just had to say that? 

And he believes I should reward him for his efforts?

Here, have a virtual cookie on my behalf, Rey Rey. 🙂

Whether he was joking or not – I’m thinking no.

Is this really the 2012 version of chivalry?

Girl’s Nite Out with a hint of Tampa Boy

15 Jun

The Friday of Memorial Day weekend I decided to roadtrip it to Tampa to visit my friend, H.

We were both in dire need of a girl’s nite out so we got prettied up and meandered out to the bar scene.

…A fine ‘Before’ picture…

Me & H

We decided on a new hot spot with restaurants and bars. It was a casual scene (perfect) and just busy enough to make it interesting (if that makes any sense).  The bar name is Prime Bar. We’re both smokers so an outside table was preferred despite the wait time of 30 minutes for outside seating.

Hmm. What to do in the meantime? Visit the inside bar of course! 

Ah finally! Girl’s nite – it was long overdue. We sat contemplating our drink of choice for the night.

What to drink?

We were both thinking it but we were both also weighing the consequences.

The evil green monster: The Apple Martini.

Now, I’ve learned from past experiences (over and over again) that these infamous martinis are dangerous, cause bad judgment, and inflict intense pain on my stomach. But do I backdown like a smart, responsible adult? A grownup that is well aware of the cause and effect of said green monster?

Uh no! I order one. Naturally. I was glutton for punishment on this fun and fancy free night.

One martini chills me out.

(Still waiting for the table.)

Martini #2 leads me to ask the gentleman next to me what he’s drinking.

Big mistake.

My one simple question led this lonely boy to feel that an entire conversation was in order. All I wanted to know was the name of the drink he was consuming.

Some of you may be asking – “Well was he cute????”

No, he really wasn’t. Not to me, at least.

Three martinis later, we’re at our outside table. 🙂

Tampa Boy invites himself over – takes a seat and start jabbering.

I felt like I was watching tennis while looking between Tampa Boy & H while thinking “who invited him?” Who does that? It’s just not okay fellas. 😛

I was nice, though, and didn’t kick him out. Instead I feigned interest in his topic of discussion which primarily covered his plan to break up with his girlfriend in a few minutes time.

Splendid. Mighty catch you are, Tampa Boy.

We were subject to the entire story of who, what, when, why, and how.

Meanwhile:

    PLUS   

I’m pretty sure that’s about the time that I had to give in and break the seal. I became a frequent visitor at the ladies room and I actually fit in some dancing while I was at it. For some reason the music was better in the bathroom.

After however many martinis I ended up giving Tampa Boy my cell phone number. Oops.

He left to break up with his girl, said he’d return, and we didn’t see him again. #Relief

We ate (food was terrible) and I did the whole sign-the-check-with-one-eye-closed because at that point I couldn’t read…

It’s a good thing H still had her sense about her and I’m sure she was laughing at me here & there because of my drunken stupidity but – in the end we had a great time! It was so much fun. 🙂

And yes, I learned yet again that multiple apple martinis encourage me to pray viciously to the porcelain god.

Funny photo – a silly “After” picture of us. 😀

H & Me!

Anonymous Super Dater Girl

14 Jun

Meet the Anonymous Super Dater Girl, a coworker friend of mine who is also on a daunting quest to find love via E-Dating.

It all started with my simple inquiry via work email:

I’m having a hard time focusing and staying awake.

Tell me what happened with Mr. Dude?

To which Anonymous Super Dater Girl replied:

Mr. Dude was ok but he kinda bored and annoyed me.  First date I thought was great… but I think that’s just cause I was nervous / excited.  Second date I fell asleep on his couch.  So I figured I would just make sure he wasn’t the one and go on a third date.  As soon as he got to my place for the third date I wasn’t feeling it.  He just didn’t have enough personality, I wasn’t very attracted to him.  He looked cute in his profile pics b/c he was smiling.  Unfortunately, his ‘normal’ face was kinda stank face looking.  Ya know, like he just smelled dog shit. 

He also had a puppy that I don’t think he’s doing justice to at all.  It’s 10 weeks old and he had nothing for it to chew on then wondered why it was picking up random things in the house and chewing on them.  OMG dude… it’s a baby, it’s teething – you need to get it some bones!  And it didn’t seem like he was attempting potty training at all.  He kept saying he’s had puppies before blah blah until finally I was like.. let me guess that every OTHER time you got a puppy, the puppy had a ‘mommy’ that did all this work.  He’s like well yeah. 

We had beach plans so when the it started raining I decided we should call it a day.  

Now I’ve been emailing a guy in Pompano, lawyer, we’ll see… nothing interesting to report on him yet

I have to admit that’s the first time I ever heard of the ‘stank face’ look. Interesting choice of words. 😀

I’m partially relieved to know that I’m not the only one that suffers through bad dates.

Til next time … 😉

Love, Science, and Online Dating

3 Jun

Yes I purchased this book. For $20. I know. But I can explain…

I was sitting in an airport getting ready to head home. My mind was agonized by … well, emotional crap. I’m a girl. Being emotional comes naturally to me.

While I racked my brain for reasons why men do the things they do I came across this book. It appeared to offer the explanations and reasons I needed at that particular moment.

So that’s when I busted out the $20 for Jena Pincott’s “Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes? Bodies, Behavior, and Brains-The Science Behind Sex, Love, & Attraction.” The title does a great job of explaining the book’s purpose.

Anywho, being that I’m exploring the online dating world and all of its glory, I found a section in Chapter 8 to be interesting. The section on page 239 is titled “What secret biases do data from online dating sites reveal?” 

Here are some interesting snippets. You’ve gotta love the studies that are done by economists, professors, and scientists alike.

“Unsurprisingly, one of the big prejudices that surfaced concerns attractiveness.”   Obviously – you’re pretty much window shopping for a mate…

“Judging by the number of first-contact emails, men love long straight hair.” Oh that’s me! That’s me!

Continuing off of that last statement – “They prefer your hair color most if you’re blond-” Cant say I’m surprised there…

Here’s a goodie: “Men also prefer women who are light for their height. If you had a body mass index (BMI) of 16-18, the weight-to-height ratio of an anorexic (approximately 100-112 pounds at five feet six), you’d have 90 percent more first-contact emails than a woman with a BMI of 24, which is at the high end of the normal range.” Does anyone find that disturbing? Or am I just reading it wrong. So I’m supposed to become anorexic with long blond hair to attract a man?

“Meanwhile, women homed in on the part of men’s profiles that specify their income.” Okay – I don’t do that. Honestly. Finding a normal man would be a fantastic start.

This one deserves a small “LOL”: “FYI, men also lie about their height; 53 percent stretch the truth a half inch or more in their profiles.”

The most amazing part (I say that with sarcasm)? When race is related to salary. It’s actually quite ridiculous no matter the level of truth to it. Here’s just one example:

  • For white women, a black man would need to earn $154,000 more each year to be considered equally desirable as a white guy with an average income of $62,500, Hispanic men an additional $77,000, and Asian men an additional $247,000.”

“Meanwhile, men are basically indifferent about women’s income or profession, as long as a woman’s success doesn’t intimidate them.” Boys, boys, boys…

“Men turn up their noses at older women, and older women turn up their noses at younger men.” Ha!! 🙂